THIS COUNTRY WON'T KILL ME: 3 THINGS THAT HAS TAKEN MY APPETITE AWAY THIS 2025 AND ALMOST MADE ME TO REGRET BEING BORN HERE (NWASIR AGUWA)
This Country Won’t Kill Me: 3 Things That Has Taken My Appetite Away This 2025 And Almost Made Me To Regret Being Born Here
As a legitimate citizen of Nigeria, this truth remains uncovered. For me, Living in Nigeria comes with its own emotional curriculum — one that no school teaches but every citizen is forced to learn. This year alone, three major events shook my spirit so deeply that even my appetite went on strike. They weren’t just trending topics on the news; they were national experiences that reached into my personal space and pressed the pause button on my emotions.
These events — the death of Umah Ukpai, the Super Eagles’ disqualification from the World Cup, and the sentencing of Nnamdi Kanu — touched different layers of our collective Nigerian identity. Faith, sports, and politics are three pillars that hold up our national mood. When any of them shakes, the whole emotional building trembles.
In this article, I will take you through how these three incidents affected me, what they represent in the larger Nigerian story, and why, in spite of everything, I keep telling myself, “This country won’t kill me.”
1. The Passing of Umah Ukpai — A Blow to Faith and Hope
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| THE FEARLESS PROPHET |
The first heavy shockwave of the year was the announcement of the passing of Umah Ukpai, a figure whose name carried weight in faith circles across Nigeria. Whether or not you followed him closely, you probably knew of his influence, his teachings, or his charitable impact. People like him leave cultural footprints that remain long after their voices go silent.
When I heard the news, it wasn’t simply sadness — it felt like a spiritual emptiness. Faith leaders play emotional roles in their communities. They represent guidance, strength, and continuity. When one is gone, it feels like a branch breaking off from a tree you have leaned on for shade.
Why It Hit Me Hard
He symbolized consistency in a country where many things feel unpredictable.
His teachings resonated with millions and offered stability.
He represented integrity, and that is becoming rare.
The days following the announcement felt unusually quiet to me. My appetite went down not because of grief alone, but because of what his absence represented — another source of hope gone from a nation already thirsty for positivity.
What It Means for the Country
Nigeria’s spiritual environment is strong because many citizens find hope in faith, especially when life becomes overwhelming. Losing a respected figure affects the emotional climate of believers and even non-believers who admired his humanitarian contributions.
The keyword here is impact — and Umah Ukpai’s impact was undeniably deep.
2. The Super Eagles’ World Cup Disqualification — A National Heartbreak
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| THE FORMIDABLE PLAYERS |
If there is one thing that unites Nigerians across ethnic, political, and religious lines, it’s football. The Super Eagles are not just a team; they are a national emotional investment.
This year’s World Cup disqualification hit harder than usual. Nigerians don’t ask for much — just small joy here and there, small wins that give everyone a reason to smile. Football is one of the few things that gives us that joy consistently.
When the Super Eagles failed to qualify, barely a month after the first incident, I felt like the year has officially declared itself “stressful.”
Why It Affected Me Personally
1. Football is our escape route. When life becomes too hard, Nigerians run to football for temporary relief. That relief was snatched away.
2. The entire country felt it. You could sense the disappointment on social media, in conversations, in public spaces.
3. It drained my excitement for the year. I had already imagined the thrills, the celebrations, the national bonding moments. Losing that expectation was like losing a festival.
Whenever the World Cup is approaching and Nigeria qualifies, the entire mood of the country shifts. Traders sell more jerseys, viewing centers fill up, and even strangers become instant friends. Missing all of that this year was a deep emotional cut. In fact, watching the world cup may not interest me unless I will watch without supporting any team.
The National Significance
Sports carry symbolic power. When the national team does well, morale rises. When they fall, morale drops. The Super Eagles’ disqualification wasn’t just a sports story — it was a psychological event.
It reminded me how much we depend on tiny victories to cope with bigger challenges. And when those tiny victories fail, it feels like the year takes something from you.
3. The Sentencing of Nnamdi Kanu — A Political Shockwave
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| THE FIERCE PROCLAIMER |
While I was trying to see if I can recover from these ugly experiences, just four days later the most heart breaking news was released about the leader of the Indigenous People of Biafra - Mazi Nnamdi Kalu. The sentencing of Nnamdi Kanu created shockwaves across conversations, social media, and public opinion. Regardless of where anyone stands, the situation represents tension, uncertainty, and emotional strain for many people.
That day, I felt like no one is safe in this country, because I was highly disappointed by everything around me.
When the news broke, it felt like a heavy weight dropped into the national atmosphere.
Why It Hit My Appetite
Political tension drains emotional energy. Whether you agree or disagree with any side, the conflict itself is exhausting.
It affects ordinary people. Every political decision has ripple effects on citizens’ daily lives, including safety, unity, and economic conditions.
It represents unresolved national issues. The whole situation shows how Nigeria is still wrestling with identity, governance, and trust.
Hearing about the sentencing reminded me once again how fragile peace can feel, especially when national issues involve strong emotions, regional loyalties, and long-standing grievances.
The Bigger Picture
Politics affects mental health more than many people admit. The uncertainty, debates, anger, and fear that rise during moments like this can wear someone down emotionally. For me, it became another reason why food tasted less enjoyable that week.
The keyword here is instability, because political events like this bring it to the surface.
How All Three Events Combined to Affect My Year
Individually, each of these events would have been heavy. But coming in one year, they formed a trio of emotional weight that made me say repeatedly, “This country won’t kill me.”
Here is how they blend:
1. Faith (Umah Ukpai)
Represented loss of guidance and spiritual strength.
2. Sports (Super Eagles)
Represented loss of joy and national unity.
3. Politics (Nnamdi Kanu sentencing)
Represented loss of stability and emotional peace.
These three areas — faith, joy, stability — are foundations of everyday well-being. When they shake, it’s normal for appetite, motivation, and mood to take a hit.
How I Found Strength Again
Despite everything, I learned some important lessons that helped me bounce back:
✔ Accept What You Can’t Control
Not every event is within your hands. Recognizing this reduces emotional pressure.
✔ Focus on Personal Wins
Even in a heavy year, there are moments of progress and gratitude worth holding onto.
✔ Limit Emotional Overload
News, social media, and political arguments can drain you. Sometimes you need distance.
✔ Stay Connected
Sharing feelings with friends, family, or supportive communities reduces emotional weight.
✔ Protect Your Mental Space
Nigeria may be stressful, but how you protect your peace determines how you survive it.
Conclusion : This country won't kill me, it won't kill you either.
Yes, this year hit hard.
Yes, these three events took my appetite away.
But I refuse to give up on myself or my hope for better days
Nigeria may be unpredictable, but Nigerians are strong. We bend but don’t break. We complain, but we survive. We get disappointed, but we rise again.
And as I look ahead, I remind myself that even though the country can throw emotional storms at us, it won’t finish me.
There is still faith to nurture.
There is still joy to expect.
There is still stability to work toward.
One day, we will have more reasons to smile than to sigh.
Until then, we keep moving — because giving up is not an option.
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