HOW CAN YOU EXPLAIN A MAN WHO CONTINUES TO SLEEP WITH OTHER WOMEN OUTSIDE BUT COMMANDS HIS WIFE NOT TO BE SEEN OUTSIDE?

 

How Can You Explain a Man Who Continues Sleeping With Women Outside but Commands His Wife Not to Be Seen Outside?

One of the most confusing contradictions in relationships and marriages is the double standard some men uphold: they freely cheat outside, pursuing multiple women without remorse, yet expect their wives to stay at home, act saintly, and never be seen outside. The question is simple yet deep: how do you explain such a man?

Is it hypocrisy? Is it Culture? Is it Ignorance? Is it Power abuse? Or Should I simply say it's insecurity?

Let’s dig deep into this paradox, exploring the psychology, cultural background, and consequences of such behavior—and, most importantly, what lessons couples can learn from it.

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The Double Standard: Freedom for Him, Restriction for Her

Throughout history, patriarchal systems have often placed men in positions of power, giving them more liberty while restricting women. In many societies, men were celebrated for being “playboys,” “polygamous by nature,” or “kings with many concubines,” while women were shamed and punished for even the suspicion of infidelity.

This mindset still lives today, though often disguised. A man who cheats may say, “I’m just being a man”—but if his wife dares to socialize too much, dress in a certain way, or even have male friends, he explodes with anger.

This is not just hypocrisy—it’s a reflection of insecurity, selfishness, and cultural conditioning.

Why Do Some Men Always Behave This Way?

To explain such a man, we need to break it down into psychological, cultural, and personal reasons:

1. Insecurity and Fear of Losing Control

A man who cheats often knows the dangers of the game he plays. Deep inside, he knows that if his wife had the same liberty, she might also explore options outside the marriage. His insecurity makes him clamp down on her movements—not because he is strong, but because he is weak.

It’s like a thief who locks his own house more tightly because he assumes others will steal just as he does.

2. Cultural Conditioning

In some cultures, men are taught from childhood that their masculinity is tied to how many women they can conquer. At the same time, women are taught that their dignity depends on staying loyal, silent, and unseen. This cultural programming creates a toxic double standard.

For example:

• A man who cheats may be excused with phrases like “boys will be boys.”

• But a woman caught cheating may be labeled a prostitute, disgraced, or even divorced immediately.

Such men grow up believing they have the right to freedom while their wives must remain controlled.

3. Abuse of Power

Some men see marriage not as a partnership but as ownership. They view their wives as property, not partners. This mindset makes them feel entitled to command: “Do as I say, not as I do.”

The wife becomes restricted, not because she is weak, but because the man abuses the power society gave him.

4. Lack of Emotional Maturity

Sleeping around without self-control is often a sign of immaturity. Such men may chase excitement, validation, or ego boosts outside, while failing to take responsibility at home. At the same time, they lack the maturity to trust their wives, so they impose unfair rules.

5. Hypocrisy and Selfishness

At the root of it all is pure selfishness. These men want enjoyment without accountability. They demand loyalty while giving betrayal. They want the best of both worlds—freedom for themselves, imprisonment for their wives.

The Psychological Of this Impact on the Wife

When a woman is married to such a man, the emotional damage runs deep:

1. Loss of Trust – She can no longer trust his words or promises, because his actions betray them.

2. Low Self-Esteem – Constant cheating can make her feel unwanted or unworthy.

3. Emotional Isolation – Being commanded not to be seen outside often cuts her off from friends, family, and support systems.

4. Silent Anger – Many wives in this situation bottle up resentment, which may later explode in conflict or quiet withdrawal.

5. Psychological Confusion – She may start questioning herself: “Am I the problem? Why is he allowed to go outside while I am caged?”

This emotional imbalance often leads to depression, anxiety, and even physical health issues.

The Damage This Can Bring on the Man Himself

Surprisingly, the man also destroys himself in the process:

• Health Risks – Continuous unprotected affairs increase the risk of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), which can affect him and his family.

• Loss of Respect – Over time, people see through the hypocrisy, and he loses credibility.

• Broken Family Bonds – Children grow up watching the hypocrisy, and it weakens their respect for their father.

• Emotional Emptiness – Chasing multiple women may bring short-term pleasure but long-term emptiness.

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What Does Religion Say About This?

Almost all major religions condemn hypocrisy and adultery.

• Christianity calls for husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church—sacrificially and faithfully. (Ephesians 5:25)

• Islam allows polygamy under strict rules of fairness but condemns secret affairs and adultery.

• African Traditional Beliefs often uphold respect and harmony in marriage, not reckless betrayal.

So, a man who cheats while restricting his wife is not only violating his marriage vows but also spiritual principles.

Here Are Real-World Examples

• In Nigeria, many celebrity scandals reveal men who publicly parade mistresses while demanding their wives remain silent. Social media often calls out the hypocrisy, showing society is waking up to these double standards.

• In the U.S., famous cases like Tiger Woods highlighted how even successful men destroy their families when they live double lives. His wife, who was once kept in the background, eventually left, proving that silence is not forever.

• In many rural communities, women remain trapped under such control because of financial dependence and cultural shame. But growing education is helping women challenge this unfair system.

How Should Society Respond To This?

To explain such men is one thing, but society must also address the root causes:

1. Educate Boys Differently – From a young age, boys must be taught that masculinity is not about conquering women but about responsibility, respect, and faithfulness.

2. Empower Women – When women are financially independent and educated, they are less likely to tolerate controlling hypocrisy.

3. Challenge Cultural Norms – Communities should openly discuss and reject the toxic idea that men can cheat while women cannot.

4. Promote Therapy and Counseling – Couples facing this situation should seek professional help to break cycles of insecurity and mistrust.

What Can Wives Do in Such Situations?

Every woman’s response will differ, but here are some possible steps:

1. Communicate Firmly – Instead of silent suffering, express how his double standard hurts you.

2. Set Boundaries – Don’t allow him to control your freedom while he misbehaves.

3. Seek Support – Involve trusted family, counselors, or religious leaders if needed.

4. Work on Independence – Emotional and financial independence gives you options if the situation becomes unbearable.

5. Decide Your Limits – At some point, a woman may choose to walk away rather than remain in a toxic environment.

A Call for Balance

Marriage is not about control but about partnership. Both husband and wife deserve freedom, trust, and respect. A man who demands loyalty but refuses to give it is not protecting his home—he is destroying it.

The true measure of a man is not how many women he can sleep with outside, but how faithfully he can love and honor the one woman he committed to.

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In summary

So, how can you explain a man who continues sleeping with women outside but commands his wife not to be seen outside?

• He is insecure.

• He is selfish.

• He is a product of toxic cultural conditioning.

• He lacks emotional maturity.

• He abuses power.

But explanation is not the same as justification. Such behavior cannot be excused—it must be challenged.

Every marriage built on double standards is like a house with cracked walls: sooner or later, it collapses.

True love requires fairness, faithfulness, and freedom. A man who cannot give these values has no right to demand them from his wife.

The world is changing. Women are rising. Societies are evolving. And the days when men could live freely outside while imprisoning their wives inside are numbered.

Before you leave this content, tell me;

1. What other things do you think can push some men into this act?

2. If you are a married woman, which approach can you take to eliminate such act?

3. Which set of men are always found in this act? Wealthy men or the Poor.

Let me here from you on the comment section, so that I can know how to tailor my next content to help such men.

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